Monday, February 1, 2016

LOST AND FOUND VALENTINE bloghop




Today I'm participating in the Lost and Found Valentine bloghop, hosted by
Arlee Bird at Tossing it Out
Guilie Castilol-Oriard at A Quiet Laughter
Elizabeth Seckman
Yolanda Renee at Defending the Pen
Denise Covey
Alex J. Cavanaugh

"This challenge asks you to tell your fictional/non-fictional story about love -- lost or found -- in the first special Valentine's blogfest for the month of February."

I'm not much of a Happily Ever After writer, but decided to challenge myself for this bloghop and get somewhat better than satisfactory ending. Almost. My excerpt is less than 500 words, which is a real challenge for me as I'm not usually very concise. At the end, I posted the Taylor Swift video that inspired my writing. I hope you enjoy both, and then visit other participants to this prompt.

REMEMBER ME

The last time I saw Melika she was standing on this same cliff. It was twilight, a light breeze lifting her golden hair, the city spread out below, lights twinkling as brilliant as the first stars. The setting sun painting her cheeks pink. Her hand in the air, not quite waving good-bye.

She knew it couldn’t last, I made no promises.

The mission was to make contact, scout a secure route into the city, and establish a temporary base. Melika was the contact. Beautiful, intelligent, dedicated to the ideal of freedom. Together we roamed the streets, pretending to be lovers touring the city. She had a delicate, easy laugh, soft hands that felt like silk sliding through my fingers.

I fell in love with the city as she told its history, related ancient stories of heroic deeds, revealed secret passages below majestic structures. It was magical. She was magical. By the time Jenkins gave the command to advance I was hopeless lost in her charms.

“Remember me,” Melika said on our last stolen night together.

Her place was out of the city, cut off by hills on one side, the ocean on the other. Lost in momentary passion, I nearly missed the rendezvous with my unit.

“Is that her,” the pilot asked through the head set.

The chopper banked as it drew closer, giving me a side view of the bluff and burnt out house. Melika stood silhouetted in the light of bursting bombs, short hair standing straight from the wind of the rotors. She’d lost her smile, torn jeans and blood stained shirt replaced the summer dress I remembered.

“That’s her.” I scanned the area for hostiles, then motioned for the pilot to set it down.

I was half out of the copter as it skimmed land, anxious to know if she still remembered me, when the bullets razed the tail.

“There, there,” I yelled into the mike as the chopper lifted and spun.

Cooper was already laying down cover fire as the pilot regained control and launched a missile at a jeep that suddenly raced from under the rubble that used to be a garage.

My ears were ringing from the explosion and gunfire, distorting the commands to abort the pick up. Through the smoke, Melika stood tall, her hand in the air.

“Negative, Captain. We can’t leave her.”

“There may be more hostiles Sir,” Cooper argued. “And she could be in on the trap. We can’t risk it.”

I won’t leave her again I promised myself. I’d kept her last request, remembering every detail of our time together. “Take us down, now.”

I climbed out on the runner and leaned down, stretching my arm towards Melika’s still raised hand.

“Make it quick,” Cooper told the pilot.

I blocked out the commands to abort, the gun fire, the sudden silence as the bombs stopped. I focused on Melika’s unwavering hand.



29 comments:

Pat Garcia said...

Hi,
A very interesting story. A war zone love affair that was not forgotten.
Shalom,
Patricia

DEZMOND said...

what a cliffhanger it is

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hopefully he hauled her to safety.

Elsie Amata said...

Oh no. Poor Cooper. You did great, Donna! You had me right from the start.

Crystal Collier said...

I love this! Love it. Such great conflict and what a wonderful premise!

Yolanda Renee said...

Well done, with a war in the background it's only fair that we get a happy ending, or at least the impression of a happy ending. :)

Pat Hatt said...

Hopefully a happy ending came due, snatching her up.

Tamara Narayan said...

A love story with some heavy duty action--bravo!

Arlee Bird said...

That was a very different Lost & Found entry, but nevertheless appropriate to the theme. You sketched this out vividly in such few words. Nice writing job.

Arlee Bird
A to Z Challenge Co-host
Tossing It Out

farawayeyes said...

I like it. I really like that you let me finish the story in mind. Yeah, it gives me delight to decide this ending. Great Lost and Found.

Michael Offutt, Phantom Reader said...

Well done, Donna. I love the contrasting descriptions:things soft as silk and then the war-torn brutality just outside of that. It's interesting how the softest things can provide the greatest strengths.

cleemckenzie said...

One happily ever after story is okay! :-) Just kidding. I'm glad you wrote the story this way. After all it's Valentine's month and stories with love and commitment are welcome. Great job.

A Beer For The Shower said...

I love the story, and I'm really hoping they both got to safety and weren't made into a matching pair of Swiss cheese.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

He was an honorable man, and he heroically and successfully rescued the lovely lady, and they lived happily ever after. The end.

RIGHT???? Yes, yes, of course it it...

Beautifully written.

Denise Covey said...

Very brave. I like how you left us hanging. I was waiting for Malika to be destroyed by those bombs. Glad she didn't...I don't think. Great that you challenged yourself. Great start to 2016!

Guilie Castillo said...

VERY nice! I suck at happily-ever-after too, especially in writing, so I appreciate the effort you put together here—and I love the result. Hopeful enough to leave us with a sense of possibility, vague enough to make us wonder. And use our imagination. I love stories that make the reader finish them.

Thanks so much for joining the Lost & Found hop, Donna :)
Guilie @ Life In Dogs

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Donna,

Terrific tension! Nicely written. You managed to show a lot in such a short piece! Well done!

Michele Truhlik said...

Awesome story. I love the war-time backdrop. I'm invested in the story and love how it ended, with the cliffhanger. Nice writing!
And I like the Taylor Swift song.

Excellent piece for this bloghop. Great job!

Michele at Angels Bark

dolorah said...

Hi Pat

Dezzy: only a little one

Alex: there is always hope :)

Thanks Elsie

Crystal: you're awesome

Yolanda: impressions can be happy, lol

Pat: that was my intent

Thanks Tamara

Lee: I strive to be different, and sometimes appropriate :)

FAE: then this is a success for me

Mike: it did require a light touch, and I'm glad it worked

cLee: I'm saving my "one HEA" to spring on everyone, lol.

Beers: "matching pair of Swiss cheese", what a delightful story concept. Thanks for the idea :)

Susan: RIGHT!!!

Denise: I'm sure she survived . . thanks for co-hosting this fun blogfest.

Guillie: glad you liked it :) I also love stories that let me use my imagination. Thanks for hosting this.

Thank you Michael

Michelle: that song has been playing through my mind for a while. Had to get it out somehow, lol.

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Wow! Too hot! Great story- is there a coming part 2? Perfect song. :)

Tammy Theriault said...

Great story!!! Love it ;)

Nilanjana Bose said...

Hi Donna,

A more than satisfactory ending! Love in the time of war. Well done. Enjoyed it. And the clip too.

Michelle Wallace said...

The opening sentence sucked me into the story...all the way until the last word.
A great story, Donna!
You left us hanging...which is good.
I say, let the reader fill in the gaps.
Writer In Transit

Olga Godim said...

Wonderful story!

mike spain said...

Wonderful read and nice song!

Misha Gericke said...

Gosh! I want to know how it turns out!

Madilyn Quinn said...

Ah, this was awesome. Love the tension and then the ending, gah.. cliffhanger much! :)

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

OH DONNA, sorry I'm so late getting here. My employment schedule has me working 12.5 hour days every Monday through Wednesday (37.5 hours in 3 days), which leaves me no time for anything until Thursdays, when I begin my 4-days "off" from work.

Nice piece of writing that! Too bad that only seconds after the story ended the two main characters were both aerated like colanders. But they lived happily ever after... in Heaven.

Yeah, I just love a cheerful ending.

~ D-FensDogG
'Loyal American Underground'

Cherdo said...

Oooooo, I love sweet writing skills! Nice!