Hey Ya'll; I'm back!!
Yep, I signed up again for the monthly Insecure Writers Support Group; hopefully this commitment is my first step in getting back into blogging and writing. Go to IWSG sign-up linky, look at the last number on the list (176) and there I am, lol. If you are not already on the linky, do a girl a favor and sign up so I'm not last in line! Thank ya kindly.
Lets get this first Wednesday of the Month started with the optional March 4 question - Other than the obvious holiday traditions, have you ever included any personal or family traditions/customs in your stories?
My answer: Hmm, I'm really not sure. My home as a child was so strictly regular - or regulated - that I could not breathe. As I grew up, moved out, and had my own children, I slowly tossed away all those harsh family traditions. Until one day, I realized I did nothing like how I was raised.
In fact, I don't believe I did anything much the same from year to year, season to season. Maybe Christmas and Thanksgiving, and summer clothing buying. I always had an unwrapped Santa gift for each kid that only arrived on Christmas Eve (after all kids went to bed), and stockings had the most prized gifts. And unlike my childhood home at Thanksgiving, when we starved all day, cooked, and had dinner eaten and cleaned up by 3pm, I had all day snacks and treats and dinner around 5p. And every summer, there was a shopping spree for new "play clothes". I never had a separation for "play" clothes and "school" clothes - except clothes too stained or ripped to wear to school.
Because there has always been such a lack of tradition in my home, I have a tendency to not have set traditions in my stories. This has not been a purposeful oversight; I just forget to write anything typical like: going to church, having a pet (although we've always had a cat at my house), family reunions, and worst of all, not writing friends and social life.
Perhaps this is why my best stories are short stories and flash fiction. And why it is taking me 10 years or so to edit my women's fiction trilogy: I keep adding some true family life into my characters. Practice practice practice.
This was an interesting question to explore - not sure my answer was as interesting. But there it is. I'm pretty busy this week, not gonna have my computer much, so I will do most of my blog hopping this weekend. Don't forget to visit the IWSG founder Alex J Cavanaugh, and the March 4 co-hosts: Jacqui Murray, Lisa Buie-Collard, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, Shannon Lawrence.
After being so regulated, you went free-flow with your life.
ReplyDeleteI'm a creature of habit, but I didn't really consider any of that when answering the question. I don't think much of it made its way into my stories, either.
We do Thanksgiving dinner early - noon or by one. But that's so I can have Thanksgiving part two around five with leftovers and a turkey and stuffing sandwich!
We didn't really have any traditions growing up either, but the things we did do weren't so terrible, and I do feel those things creeping into my adult life now...
ReplyDeleteWhen you reject old traditions you may be creating new ones and not knowing it.
ReplyDeleteIt seems family traditions happen less and less now.
ReplyDeleteTraditions should be like the pirate code, more like guidelines. You do the one ones you like. <3
ReplyDeleteI generally forget to write about traditions too. I should make a mental note not to again. Welcome back, Dolorah. I know what you mean. I went from #22 down to 157. Feels weird.
ReplyDeleteI tried to give my family tradition, they were having none of it, all men. They have no use for such nonsense. LOL My boys and hubby are so boring!
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is when I threw it all out the window, they noticed!
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ReplyDeleteFollowing family traditions is declining everywhere nowadays. Here people get long holidays for festivals, they go out of town for a vacation.
ReplyDeleteSo maybe your tradition is that you don't have any official traditions? :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have formed our own traditions, but our past informs out present so there's still some family influence.
I like your answer. I feel like some experiences are so typical that they are often overlooked. Like they might be typical to your family and your life, but maybe not for others.
ReplyDeleteI'm also with you with regards to letting go of traditions that I was brought up with. I feel like most are related to having money, having time, and being accepting of the consumer driven culture which is not my life at all. My husband and I don't decorate for holidays. (We don't have kids, so we'd just be decorating for ourselves.) We go out to eat on Halloween, because all of the restaurants are empty and we stay home on Valentine's Day when the restaurants are crowded. We don't buy one another gifts. So many little things we do differently than others.
With Love,
Mandy
My life is very different from my childhood too. And I don't include any traditions in my writing.
ReplyDeleteI really like Donna's response about the 'pirate code'. Every family has something different and some drop off if/when? kids leave home. One year my son and his wife were coming for Christmas and I told my husband that we could decorate a gingerbread house like my son and I did when he was little. My husband cautioned that 'he might not want to do that anymore.' So I tentatively brought it up in the car on the ride from the airport. My DIL responded, "Yes, Mike told me about that and we are looking forward to it." :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, Donna!! Sometimes breaking tradition becomes the tradition. It took a lot of years to break away from 'how it's always done' to serve the needs of my family . . . but I've never regretted it. There are still those I cherish and will pass on. I do love those relaxed holidays, though!!
ReplyDeleteI don't put traditions in my writing either. Does mean I won't in the future but really have no tradition to include. If I include one the tradition will belong to the character.
ReplyDeleteYou just want to live free of traditions. Nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI haven't included any of my family traditions in any of my stories, mainly because I write speculative fiction, and my characters live either in some magical world or somewhere in space. No mundane Earth traditions apply.
ReplyDeleteBesides, I grew up as a Jewish kid in Soviet Russia. All our family traditions were sort-of screwed, neither Soviet Russian not Jewish, but an amalgam of both. Definitely not anything any of my English-speaking readers would be able to relate to.
Glad to see you back in the IWSG! I can see wanting to separate yourself from traditions/habits when your home was so strict.
ReplyDeleteHi Donna. Was interesting to learn a little more about you. Our lives are all so depending on our childhood in so many ways unless we make a real effort to turn our backs on the ways of our parents. Sounds like your no-traditions is a reaction to over regulation. Nevertheless, I'd like to re read your women's fiction one day soon. Would love to see how it's changed. I've learned so much since I first read it, I might be more helpful LOL.
ReplyDeleteHope your writing mind is playing with ideas for the next WEP challenge - Antique Vase. Your name is under consideration with the WEP judge. Should hear soon! These days, with such strong writers, it's a real accolade to make the shortlist.
Seems like the older I get, the less I observe the traditions I grew up with. My family was big on a lot of traditions when I was growing up and I continued them as my children were still living at home. Now with all the kids gone and far away I don't much care about traditions.
ReplyDeleteIronically, the community I've been living in for the past 23 years is called Traditions.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
That makes sense to me--who would want to continue bad or painful traditions? Although, I've realized that the traditions kids love can be painful for the adults like stuffing and hiding 50+ plastic Easter Eggs after everyone else has gone to bed and then not finding some of them for months. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteIt was an interesting answer. I grew up in a house that was the unregulated sort. Like you, my mother was reacting to a home that was strictly regulated. I think I found somewhere in the middle. I call it controlled chaos.We have traditions, just no hard fast rules on the execution.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to the IWSG!
Your post was fascinating. It's different from my childhood, and, yet, I read your description of it, and I could relate to your feelings.
ReplyDeleteYou survived a difficult upbringing, and have gone on to create a life for yourself. That shows both growth, and strength.
Hi Donna - we had a traditional upbringing ... but without too many personal to us traditions - not sure if my parents settled into things and we tagged along. When my Ma was in Cornwall and was cooking for her Care Home - we'd not really eat there ... but come back to her home ... crash!! have some tea, then have smoked salmon and champers for supper - we'd snacked a bit while serving lunch to the 30 residents + 6 staff ... it was bliss to switch off! Cheers Hilary
ReplyDelete