I'm down; got my story concept. I love Halloween for stories anyways. I love ghastly, bloody horror and thats what I'm gonna write. What would you write/publish for Halloween? Ya know, just for fun.
My entry is shorter than the allowed 1000 words because I'm just out of time to post. I hope its acceptable though.
Genre: horror
word count: 495
All critique acceptable
In the distance bombs burst and flashed, a lightning strobe
of orange flames. We ignored the cacophony, the war was no longer our concern.
Only the narrow cave mouth drew our attention. Rogers and Shane dropped their automatic
weapons and began passing out wooden masks from their packs. Flanning and
Peters accepted theirs with dubious looks.
“Put them on” I insisted, securing mine to my head. “We all
agreed – too late to back out. By now everyone knows we are deserters and they
could have already tracked us here.”
Both men nodded and followed my lead. None of them were
certain this was a half buried aqueduct leading to the depths of a temple
altar, but they were used to following my lead. I have a sixth sense about
dangers, and never get lost in a forest or city.
Rogers handed each of us a torch that stank of fuel oil. We’d
light them once inside. The purpose of the masks was to let the Aztec God Huitzilopochtli
know we were true worshipers, not Spanish looters. I wasn’t sure how well the
masks would protect doubters Flanning and Peters, but I believed.
The dreams were so vivid, so convincing.
I checked the machete looped around my right shoulder, sliding
it out slightly and reveling in the smooth pull. The others also checked their
weapons – knives, daggers, Peters with a hatchet. I nodded readiness and pushed
the others ahead. The feeling of the dreams was stronger now, anxiously pulling
at my consciousness.
This was my destiny. My birthright as one of Montezuma’s descendants.
I plunged into the thick darkness, screaming laughter.
It wasn’t dark inside. Or quiet. Glittering gold light and
echoes bounced off the rock walls. Screams and chanting assaulted me. I called
the names of my men, but couldn’t discern an answer. I fumbled in my shirt
pocket for my Zippo and lit the torch. The whomp of the ignited fuel seem to
silence the echoes and dissolve the light. I called for the men again.
Wooden faces lept at me from the walls. In a panic I dropped
the torch and slashed this way and that with the machete. Once I felt a soft
impact of something being impaled on the blade, and a voice whispered “NO!” Was
that Shane?
Orange light flickered in the distance and I dashed after
it. Another voice crooned to me. “This way; hurry,” it urged. The voice from my
dreams.
Wet things slithered from the walls and under my feet.
Wooden faces and ghostly touches pushed me onward when I fell. Finally I
descended into a lower chamber. An altar stood before me, a ring of torch light
above. A man lay on across the altar, thrashing and screaming in terror.
Flanning.
“The sacrifice,” the Dreamer’s voice suggested.
I tasted the words as they came from my lips. “Yes,” I
agreed making my own blood sacrifice with a cut across my forearm. “All of
them.”
13 comments:
Hi,
Now, I know why I don't like visiting ancient tombs or graveyards.
This was scary for me. An excellent job.
Shalom shalom
That was a real horror story. No mythical tombs for me, not anymore, treasure or no treasure.
Nasty. Dream or nightmare? Well done.
Hey Donna, glad you made it. Thanks for taking the time. I see where you could go on here, but it ended in a good place, not for the blood sacrifice! Nice and grisly for Halloween! Like the wooden masks!
Aztec culture is so rich and varied. I find it hard to understand how central human sacrifice is to those early beliefs, yet your story mixes horror with the power of belief.
Oh God! I had my heart in my mouth in that last part. Perfectly done for Halloween. The culture of sacrifice has been prevalent in my part of the world as well.
-Sonia
A tale that starts with a twist and ends with a larger twist. Well done
A revisit to try and comment again. Having trouble for some reason blogger wasn't working but I've been successful on other sites, so we'll see.
Loved this, but especially love seeing you here! It's been awhile. And that goes for most of us. Maybe things are getting back to normal. LOL Normal. Is that a thing!
Hello, and take care!
Ah ha!!! It did work!
Pat: when my husband wins the Lotto I plan on visiting lots of tombs and old burial sites. Don't worry, I'll bring garlic :)
Olga: thanks for stopping by.
Child: I was going for reality :)
Chris: twisted tales are my favorite. Thanks for stopping by.
Dx: I finished at 1a, otherwise I would have developed the story a little more. Thanks for the post opportunity, it was really fun.
Beth: to me, all religions have their bloody sacrifices. I don't understand killing one culture's beliefs to keep another going - whether that is human sacrifice or outright war.
Quills: it is interesting that so many modern day societies still practice this ritual, or that of mutilations. Sometimes I wonder how any culture stays sane.
Yolanda: I've missed everyone too. I had troubles with blogger too, was hard to post this excerpt. I think everyone is expected to migrate to tik-tok or pinterest. Not me, I'm too old to try new media.
Everyone: thanks for stopping by and commenting. I enjoyed everyone's stories for this event.
Hi Donna - I really don't like going underground and certainly would be quaking in my boots if I was being drawn down in darkness ... especially to that altar with a human ready for its sacrificial death ... no definitely not for me. Your cave sides make me squirm too ... well done - glad you managed to post something - cheers Hilary
Very scary. Very appropriate for this Wep. Thanks for joining in the October fun with such a great story.
Nice and creepy! And deep as well. Very apt for Halloween. The Americas have such a fascinating history and mythology.
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