Friday, October 24, 2014

3rd Annual Spooktoberfest

My contribution to Cover Girl's, Jackie Felger and Dani Bertrand's, 3rd Annual Spooktoberfest isn't really scary, but maybe slightly creepy will qualify. I got this idea while researching for another story concept, and a little word-play later this is what came about for the five prompt words: chill, cocoon. commotion, curse and virus.

The final lines of the criteria states: Your flash fiction piece can be scary, comical, romantic, or whatever you choose, just be creative! You can use pictures to set the scene and/or a song to set the mood. The winners will be posted on HALLOWEEN, Oct. 31st!





“Melvin, where ya goin' with that ax?”

Melvin ignored his nosy neighbor and kept walking up the lane, the ax resting comfortably on his right shoulder.

“Melvin?”

Samuel caught up with Melvin in two strides, his towering shape casting a chill over Melvin that he couldn’t shiver off. Melvin looked up, feeling a strain in his neck as he searched for his giant-like friends face. The man seemed to be taller than he remembered, and a trick of fading day lit Samuel’s skin like eyes from his head to his unclad feet.

“Ye’ve made quite the commotion over your intentions in yon tavern. Are ye set fer sure on this wicked course?”

Melvin’s steps faltered as he leveled his sight on a hidden cove three leagues up the coastline. “The she-witch has stolen the souls of too many of our bairns. She must be stopped.”

The eyes that dappled Samuel’s skin seemed brighter, compelling the fearful truth from Melvin. “Many o’ young un hast died of an unnamed virus within fourteen days of birth over the last decade. Te only surviving babes have been delivered in a cocoon, a sure mark o’ the devil. The midwife smothered me son, as she’s done with all such births. I aim to rid us of this witch, and deliver the souls of our children.”

“Foolish mortals,” Samuel roared, growing with such speed that Melvin lost sight of the beings knees and ankles in a matter of seconds.

The Earth quaked and the wind roared as Samuel spread blindingly white wings. Snakes of every kind slithered from crevasses so deep the fires of Hel lapped at fertile fields.  In a voice heard by all in the land of Eire, Samuel pronounced his doom.

“The caul was my mark of protection, delivering them from Lilith’s dominion. The devil shall truly take thee now.”

****

33 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Should've been faster with that axe, Melvin.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I bet Melvin didn't see that coming.

DEZMOND said...

the opening sentence is the essence of spookiness :)

DRC said...

Ooh, talk about miscommunication :) Great piece...

Dani and Jax said...

The opening sentence did set the feeling for the rest of the piece! Great job, and thanks for participating in Spooktoberfest!

Pat Hatt said...

The start really set it up. awesome.

WideEyedTourist said...

Wow. So Melvin didn't really see it coming, did he? Nice way with words, you got there. It's an inspiration for start-up writers like me really.

Thanks. This showed I could be better..

Raine said...

Definitely a different spin I like it.

Felicity Nichols said...

What a cute piece!

cleemckenzie said...

That first sentence looks like a tribute to E.B White.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Donna .. great description and I didn't see that coming - poor Melvin ... these are fun words to interweave .. Cheers Hilary

dolorah said...

Alex: yep!

Dianne: nope

Dezzy: thanks, its one of my favorite first lines, from Charlotte's Web.

DRC: Careful believing those old wives tales :)

D&J: this was fun, thanks for hosting.

Pat: glad it worked

Wide Eyed: aw, you're making me blush, lol.

Raine: thanks

Felicity: cute?

Lee: yep, totally stolen :)

Hilary: it was fun to write.

Sheena-kay Graham said...

Mel made a big boo boo.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Oh, nice. But all those poor murdered babies.

Laura Clipson said...

Ooh I love the twist, great entry!

Chrys Fey said...

What a twist!...Sorry, Melvin!

Lexa Cain said...

Oh! Creepy! I just love your writing, Donna. It's such a pleasure to read. Keep it up! :)

J. Lenni Dorner said...

Very interesting. Nice work.

Morgan said...

Loved this! My kind of thing!!! :)

Sarah Glenn said...

This is so fun! I thought you did a great job with dialogue and descriptions :)

Denise Covey said...

An axe tale with a twist. Great story, Donna. Nice wry humour too. Hope you're a winner!

Sherry Ellis said...

Great ax tale. Melvin didn't see that one coming!

Vanessa Morgan said...

Poor Melvin. He should have known better.

Lorelei said...

Yeah, Melvin should have kept his mouth shut. Good work, Dolorah! Good luck!

Dani said...

Great description and I love how it drew me in so close to my computer screen, I could have licked it.

Debra McKellan said...

Nice twist!

Nicki Elson said...

oooh, very creepy indeed. Very nice mood you set & that accent added to it.

I've tagged you in a thing at my place today - no obligation whatsoever. But I'd love to see your WIP sentences if you can work it into your blog schedule. :)

A Beer For The Shower said...

Poor Melvin. A nerdy name AND he got what was his. But really though, in all seriousness, that's a great story.

Carol Kilgore said...

Nightmare time for me. Good story, though.

Christine Rains said...

Yikes! Excellent flash piece. :)

Shannon Lawrence said...

Whoops! Cool piece. I guess he should have kept his intentions to himself.

Jackie said...

Creepy! Nice job! Thanks for participating in Spooktoberfest!

Medeia Sharif said...

Ooh la la. Wonderful piece!